Bloggerliness

So, look at me.. I'm all updating my blog and stuff. WHOOT! Next thing you know, I'll be accessing this from my laptop at all hours of the day and night!

Eh, prolly not, but we can dream, right?!

It is so funny... I read over old posts from 2001... I used to be on here all the time. Wonder what happened? Maybe it's because I got my own .org, and I wound up playing on it. Or maybe it is that stinkin' MYSPACE page (said with love, not dismay).

Or maybe I've gotten to the uninteresting stage of life where I meander aimlessly, just hoping for the end of every day so that I can go home and veg out to superior intellectual stimuli.

At our house, these would be better listed as "mindless drivel" such as American Idol, The Surreal Life Whatever Games, and reruns of Scrubs. THIS is the input I am getting. Dear God, don't let me start blogging about how great each of the AI contestants are, or how I cannot BELIEVE the TRAVESTY that Such-and-So was voted off. If I do, someone remind me of this post.

Unless we are discussing former Idol hopeful, and total mega-hottie CHRIS DAUGHTRY! Then all bets are off.

Robbin

So every day, no matter what, I do my best to read my friend Robbin's blog. Each time I read it, she teaches me something new and gives me an outlook that is different from my own. And she inspires me to get off my heiney and do something productive. So, all I have to do now is figure out if I want to blog here or on my website - the one that is HORRIBLY out of date!

Anyway, you too should read her writings. My Level of Awareness is the place to be.

Perspective

You may have read my recent posts, wherein I whine about losing a friend over a conversation that never should have taken place. I, of course, have completely lost sight of what should be important. However, in keeping with our present cultural awareness, it has taken a forwarded e-mail to get me back on the right track.

I submit:

A mother asked President Bush,  "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?"
Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die in Viet Nam?"
Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea?
Another mother asked President F.D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die at Iwo Jima?"
Another mother asked President W.  Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on the battlefield of France?"
Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?"
And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son have to die near Valley Forge?"

Then long, long ago, a mother asked...
"Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem?"

The answers to all these are similar --"So  that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness, and freedom."

So, I don't know which humbled me more: the reminder that this is the season of the Christ Child, or the reminder that we still have sons and daughters out there fighting for our rights. Fighting for our freedom.

Reprieve

Well, there is nothing like spending the day with a six-year-old and a two-year-old to put things into perspective. This is a good thing, by the way.

As you may know, I've been lamenting over my regrettable error in judgment, kicking myself and wondering if I even deserve to be allowed to have friends my own age, much less young and impressionable ones. But, off to Little Rock go I, with my husband and stepson as well.

You see, in a world where we are blessed to have so many people in our lives, coupled with the freedom to live wherever we darned well choose, celebrating the holidays becomes a month-long affair. (Translation: I make friends. I cherish friends. I hold on to friends. Friends move away to pursue careers and dreams that take them from living right next door to me. But, since these friendships are so precious, we keep them alive and well. Therefore we spend the month of December scheduling when we are going to get time to see each other.) Again, this is a good thing.

I have a friend named Meredith. Biologically I am an only child, yet some people hear me refer to my "sister". This is because I have Mer. She and I have been through thick and thin for about 12 years now, and I swear she is more like family than anything. So, Meredith is married to Scott. Scott and Mike have been friends since high school - much longer than 12 years. So, we have history with these fine folks, history that I sure as heck treasure with my whole heart. They moved away about 8 years ago. In that time, they have produced the two most wonderful little girls in the whole world. These girls are a major part of my heart, and I do my best not to miss a birthday or major event in their lives. This means lots of traveling both ways for us. And it is all worth it.

So, Saturday brings me getting up and going with my family for three hours to go see our darling friends. Keep in mind, I am still kicking myself for the crap of last week. But when I get to our destination, and from inside the house I hear SQUEALING of DELIGHT because we have pulled in the driveway, suddenly it all just melts away. My faux pas is put on hold for a while. I now become immersed in fanciful tales of Dora and Barbie and the 12 Princesses and calling Aunt JoJo on a cell phone that has no battery. (The two-year-old has Mer's old cell phone.. we pretend to call Scott's sister... you remember.. PRETENDING?)

We all open Christmas presents and eat homemade chili for lunch and spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner, along with amazing homemade bread, and we go visit a very "foo-foo" toy store, and then we go see a live nativity and have hot chocolate and cookies and do some shopping. We sing Christmas carols and the "ABCD Song" in the car on the way to the nativity and we count by two, three, five, ten, and one-halves (the fifteen-year-old started that one!) on the way back.

I get requested to sit "right here by me, TayHee" and "Trace, can you count to 100 by fives?" and "I want TayHee put my hairbow in." I get tears when I tell them I have to go home now, and am begged to make promises to return as soon as I can. They ask me to sing louder (these children love me, I assure you. Have you HEARD me sing?) and they ask me to pick them up. My finger on my right hand gets held by this blue-eyed, blonde-headed sprite who grins and giggles when I smile at her, while my left arm is hugged by the green-eyed, darker blond-headed princess who, somehow at six years old, knows me as well as I know myself.

These two precious darlings love me for who I am and forgive any transgressions I may have made. (As do their Mom and Dad.)

So we get to today, and no, he has not contacted me. I feel that my cherished friendship is somehow lost to me. I look to see if I've gotten any e-mail, but alas, there is no quote of the day. No humorous platitude. No "Hi Sunshine."

But, for a few short hours, I was granted a reprieve.

More Importantly...

So, I have this friend.
Very male.
Very amazing.

I have thought the world of him from almost day one. He smiled at me and I was hooked.
Not a crush.
Not a Joey-from-Friends "How YOU doin'?"

Okay, maybe a teensy-weensy crush, but dear God, let's not go there. (Although, despite my enlightenment of earlier this week, I still have the ability to know attractive when I see it. I'm not blind for goodness' sake!)

We have a wow, not-only-are-you-so-great-but-you-think-I'm-great-too kind of thing. Mutual respect. I immensely LIKE the guy.

Then I blew it. I told him everything I thought of him. After four freakin' years of keeping it to myself, I go and open my big mouth and out comes everything. I almost reverted it to the "I like you. Do you like me? Check this box if you do." scenario. Artists. Sheesh.

And the part about it is that I never INTENTIONALLY meant to do it. It was a one thing leads to another kind of thing. (Do not get me wrong - the conversation was very, very nice.)

For some reason I have this flaw that compels me to tell my friends exactly what I think of them and why I think they are so spiffy. (If I have ever referred to you as "spiffy", you are held in the highest esteem I can bestow.) So I come out and tell him.

For a smart girl, sometimes, I am not so smart.

So, now it is out there, this thing that for some reason is now an albatross instead of an enlightenment. Something that was to perhaps elevate our distant mutual respect to a sincere and true friendship, has now maybe ended everything. Now, why do I say that? I mean, he actually called me last night and told me it was all okay and to quit worrying. He said we were just fine. Nothing had ended.

But -

I come in this morning, all happy that I had my friend back, and that we were going to put the awkwardness behind us. So, I send him an e-mail. No reply. Okay, I get that.. he's VERY busy. But then I see him. He walks right by my desk. But somehow the smile that usually stops my heart (leave me alone - I already admitted that it MIGHT be a crush.) just looked sad. Like I'd let him down or something. Like I wasn't special anymore.

So, is it MY perception? Is he really okay with everything and I am just reading things into things? Or have I really lost that place in his eyes?

But, I am okay. This too shall pass, tomorrow is another day, et cetera.

Sure, why not?

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Manly Revelations

So today, one of the men that I have much respect for asked me a question. He asked me what I look for in a man. Now, keep in mind that everyone knows that I am madly in love with Mike, so this is not a "what do you think is hot?" kind of question. It is basically a continuation of a discussion about what we look for in those that we hold close to us.

I, upon sincere reflection, came up with my list, which I then sent to my friend. It is as follows:

Intelligent.
Confident, but not cocky.
Strong of character.
Deliciously wicked sense of humor.
A backbone.
Gives snuggly good hugs.
A great smile.
Challenges me.
Someone I can trust. 
Yeah, trust is a big one.
Respectful.
Thinks his grandma was awesome.
Can match me step for step and can keep up with me.
Warm.

Someone that makes my heart stop when he walks in the room.

Know what? This taught me something about myself. It taught me that I have finally, FINALLY evolved somewhat as a human and that I actually am looking for depth of character instead of just superficial fluff. I didn't discuss deep brown eyes or well-developed arms. The closest I got to listing a physical attribute is "a great smile". That is not so much the physical pearly- white-teeth-slightly-pouty-lips-crooked-grin definition, but rather the deep, sincere, opening of the soul that is conveyed by someone smiling at you.

I think I am beginning to get it.

Thanksgiving

This year has brought about so many changes to life. Some good, some not so. But, in this time of giving thanks, I thought that perhaps I'd jot down a few things.

1. Mike - The man of my dreams, love of my life, source of countless happy times and constant rambling. He has gone back to college and is trying so very hard to make it work. And he's succeeding. Grades are fantastic, but that's not the main thing. He CARES. He WANTS to do better. He has found his passion - teaching - and it is so wonderful to see those brown eyes light up with inner satisfaction. I am thankful that my soulmate has found his true calling.

2. "Da Clique" - A wonderful and unique group of friends that cannot truly be explained - they must be experienced. They are fiercely loyal, infinitely compassionate, and just plain ol fun to be with. They are with me in the good times, completely behind me in the bad times, and so much more like family than friends. I am thankful that I am blessed with such an indefinable peer group.

3. Family - Funny things happen when we grow up. We find that "family" isn't just Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, Cousin. And there are times that just because someone shares your DNA, it doesn't mean they deserve to be called "family." I have had situations with those that I am "blood-related" to, and I have had a lot of pain and tears because of them. But when something important is taken away, something - somehow and some way - is given to replace it.

And that is how I am blessed. I not only got one family - I got two. The first one is the one I married into. All of them have accepted me, loved me, supported me and welcomed me in their own ways. They make me proud to have their name.

The second one has adopted me as their own. My friend has shared her family with me - so much so that they have started including Mike and me in their family plans. They make sure we get hugs and love just like we belong there. I am thankful for family.

4. New Friends - This year has brought some interesting and colorful (in a good way) people into my world. They are kind, intelligent, giving, and just add a spark of life. Some I met through the rink, some I met at church. All are just a blessing! I am thankful for letting new people in.

5. Church - Coming from my background, I'd expected to never ever be a part of any kind of organized religion again. But through much prayer and discussion, we have finally found a place to worship and feel at home. I actually don't feel like I am not worthy anymore. I am thankful to be able to connect to my maker.

6. Reconnecting - This year has brought me back in touch with some old friends I thought I had lost. But it proves to me that the bonds I made all those years ago were true and strong. I am thankful for being able to go home again.

7. Blessings - I am thankful that Mike quit Kinko's and has gone to school. And somehow we've been able to make it financially. I am thankful for the job that I have, the health we enjoy, and the ability to be able to laugh and fall asleep together at the end of the day.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful thing!!!

Once Again

So, I guess it's time to dust off the ol' blog, update it, and see where it takes us.

Lord help us. :oD

Heh, heh, heh

You are going to marry viggo mortensen.He is very
friendly and funny and has a lot of respect for
you and your friends. He is also very good with
kids and would be an ideal father. Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Good Morning Dear People!

Well, last night the gang got together at Bobby and Missi's and watched Smallville and Angel. We had a good time, as usual. Now, I still wonder how poor Joss is going to wrap up Angel in 6 (now 5) episodes when he was supposed to have TWO MORE YEARS!!! Not fair, I tell you. Just not fair.

In other news, Mike is getting Aaron ready for his first Boy Scout Campout. The boy is going to work on his cooking merit badge. He has to make breakfast for his troop on Saturday morning. The menu is breakfast burritos. So tonight we get to have breakfast burritos for dinner, since Aaron is going to have to learn how to cook them. You go, Kiddo. You can do it!

And, I am getting back into this whole "web thing." I even have ideas on how I want my page to look. Anthony is being a DEAR and helping me figure everything out. He is just so great. Not many folks like him in the world. If there were, the world would sure be a lot better.

Well, TTFN... I have to get back to working on a few things.

SHE STILL LOVES ME!!!!

Hooray! My Jo still loves me!

I can return to happy now!!!!

And in other happy news... have you ever seen those giant chocolate-covered, nut-dipped, caramel-drizzled apples? TRY ONE!!!! Granny Smith apples are my favorites anyway, but when you add oodles of dark chocolate, sweet caramel and PECANS..... yes, ladies and gents, the Fossie has just passed out. See, my friend Vicky from work came by to see me last night to check up on me after my shoulder surgery. And she brought me flowers and that lovely aforementioned goodie. She is such a nice person!!! And it's not like I live on her way home from work or anything. In fact, she lives sorta far-out of town, and her house is still technically between work and my home. It meant a lot to me that she went to all that trouble, just to check up on me.

So, happy Jo loves me, happy for apples and flowers, and happy for a good new friend!

And life goes on...

So, I thought I'd check out some of my links, just to see if they'd work. And I clicked on one friend's blog, and found that she had posted a wedding blog.

"Well, that's pretty cool," thinks I.
So I clicks it. And what do I find? A "guest list" linky.

"Alrigthie," thinks I again.
Clicky. And what do I find? Me and mine aren't on the list. Nope, no mention of us at all.

Just because I quit the SCA doesn't mean I've quit my friendships....

"Sad," thinks I.
And I goes to bed. I shouldn't get so sad before bedtime.

YIPPEE!!! I thought my Blog had been lost!!!!!!

I got to figure out some way to get the word out that I'm back on line..... hmmmm.....

Well, well, it seems that most of my friends have gotten very busy, and most of us have not updated our Blogs/LiveJournals in a month or more. Except Kit, who posted very insightful things on her page. So, maybe we can keep the posting trend up... who knows.

For now:


Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.

Made by
Sara


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Good Afternoon, People. Why yes, loyal readers, I am actually posting TWO DAYS IN A ROW! Amazing, don'tcha think? Anyway, I gotta go heat up some lunch... back in a sec.... See, bet you didn't even miss me. Mmm, microwavey goodness. Lean Cuisine Ravioli should be ready in about 5 minutes. I should look and see if regular Ravioli has the same amount of fat grams as this stuff.

So, now for a real post. Well, life is going okay. Aaron graduated from 5th grade; Max graduated from high school. Time is flying, yet I'm not all weepy sentimental about it. (Okay, I shed a few tears at Max's graduation - he IS my little brother, ya know!) Mike and I are still trying to get the finances worked out, but hey, that will be an ongoing thing, I am sure. I just wish I'd quit worrying all the time.

Okay, now for news... Jeremy and Terry are back from Alaska. They got back two weeks ago, and it's good to have them home. Bobby and Missi are celebrating their anniversary this weekend, so HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GUYS! Ed and Elizabeth got married May 3. Dougie and Karen broke up around the same time. Bryan and Madonna are expecting a baby, and hopefully on Monday we'll find out if it is a girl or a boy. Bridget and Byron are now the proud parents of Mary JoLee! We are having their baby shower tomorrow. Stu is bringing up all the stuff from Mer, since they can't make it because of Scott's knee surgery today. GOOD LUCK SCOTT!

Hang on, food is done... be right back.

Okay, so lessee... Jeff is, well, Jeff. Tim is the same too. So is Misty. Her 10 year High School Reunion is coming up, so she's getting ready for that.

Last weekend's canoe trip has been discussed a lot, so I won't rehash here. But, it was good to see everyone, and I am glad I got to spend time with Stu and Rebecca. I likes me some Rebecca. She's cool. And she loves my cousin, which is a major bonus. Stu is like 9 kinds of awesome (and no I am not writing that just because I know you'll read this, Stu!) and he deserves a good girl who loves him.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Today is Jerry (at work)'s birthday, so I am off to get dessert. (Diet? What diet?!)

Peace!

And what a better way to start back in the swing of things than with some tests:

You are Tsukino Usagi

You are love food, boys, shopping, and hanging out with your friends. You tend to cry when things get too hard, and have trouble doing things right the first time. You probably need to study a little harder. Your faith in the basic goodness of all people keeps you on the right track, even when others don't see it.

Take the "What Magic Girl are you?" Quiz

This one cracks me up:

Which Founding Father Are You?

HA! Another one:


Which Animaniacs Character are You?
"You are inquisitive to the point of getting trampled, run over, and blinded, on a daily basis. "

"Why.....?"

"It could be due to your scientific nature. You long to learn how things work."

"Why.....?"

"Because you really like to know things, but are prone to getting hurt."

"Why.....?"

"Because, if it wasn't for others generally taking the fall for you, you might well be dead by now! Remember, curiosity is great, but it also killed the cat. Well, in this case, the dog, Buttons, would probably be more appropriate."

"Okay, lady, I love you, bu-bye!"

Click here to see my Livejournal.

And One More:

I am heroic couplets; most precise And fond of order. Planned and structured. Nice. I know, of course, just what I want; I know, As well, what I will do to make it so. This doesn't mean that I attempt to shun Excitement, entertainment, pleasure, fun; But they must keep their place, like all the rest; They might be good, but ordered life is best. What Poetry Form Are You?

So, here we go again... re interested in working on my Blog... Man this thing needs updated!

Okay, so much for keeping this "current". You know what's funny? When you are out having a life, you don't have time to document it, but when you do have time to document, you have nothing to ramble about. Hmm, funny that. Well, there are so many things that have gone on in the past few months, where would I start? Synopsis: Chrismas Good. New Years Good. AFC Playoffs bad. Superbowl good, considering the Titans didn't get to make it. SCA: over. Or at least mostly. Too much to explain here. Work Very good. McRegans, Cool as always.